Doubters And Bastards !

The last 2 years has been the steepest learning curve in my short life thus far. Before that i remember bragging stuff like "there is nothing more for me to learn" , kiddish and self absorbed arrogance with a tinge of insecurity was clearly reflected from the boasts whilst little did i know that the man upstairs was looking down with a sadistic grin lighting up his wise face. "You aint seen nothing yet, laddie."

An honest opinion of myself would see me labelled as a good guy. I am likeable and polite, i like to make people happy and am rarely rude to anyone. Needless to say, i have had loads and loads of friends in the 9th and 10th. Yes, having so many friends did give me a feeling of satisfaction, and a feeling of being wanted and liked.

Though, with the passage of time i realised that the so called friendships were just a combination of parasatic companionship, hollow convinience and symbiotic indifference. ISC was filled with such experiences of being let down by the people you trusted.Jealousy is a key word and most of the time , its people's insecurity which makes them do things they normally wouldnt do. I think that was the case with many of the idiots i have had to encounter.

Now, talking about the worse breed of idiots, the ones who would smile sweetly when you looked but as soon as the back is turned, the knives are out and sharpened and you are the one they are aiming at.Dont, get me wrong , i have always welcomed constructive criticism but the criticism which is borne out of idle gossip with a view of being vindictive really hurts . But the matter of the fact is that ,you dont need hashish, cocaine or marijuana if you can prove your doubters wrong,cause its as much a drug as the other three are, its addictive and it feels wonderful . I vividly remember scoring my first goal after my long injury lay-off, i had played 3 matches before that and honestly i was rubbish. And having listened to so many snide remarks like "he is finished" , scoring that diving header and looking them in the eye was just priceless !

Its just that you have to look at yourself and the mirror and ask yourself , "Are you good enough to prove them wrong ?" The day, when the answer is in the negative would be the day that i stop respecting myself, not for knowing that i am not good enough anymore,but just for thinking that i could be.