Just My Thoughts.

I have recently found myself in company with loads of free time. Aside from gawking at hot females on the street and solving intergalactic space crime, life has been pretty uneventful. I have hence retreated back to the shadowy unknown where i chanced upon the scantily clad Cohen sisters dancing around the eight armed Albino Goddess. They sensed my eyes all over their gyrating bodies and invited me over by means of a slow and periodic curling motion of their index fingers. I was startled and offered to show them my book collection and thats when the cruel laughter began. Everything started to dissolve and I woke up drenched in my own sweat.

Its a great day. Sunny and everything. Birds are happy and doing it furiously against the A/C. I am sure you are here for your customary pearls of wisdom and with great difficulty i resist the temptation of free early morning feather porn , and talk to about you issues that are currently going on in this head of mine.

- I have just discovered that i am a bit shite at posing for photographs .Can never get the balance right between cheesy grin and comical expression of faked astonishment. End up looking borderline retarded and it happens every fucking time.

- I think Porn gives us men lots of unrealistic expectations. For starters you cannot be ugly as pig shit and have women as hot as that sleep with you in every position imaginable ! I really had no idea knew that a Pizza delivery uniform can evoke that much feminine passion. Also, women have to lower their expectations and come around to the fact that not every naked man has dragon tattoos on his back and an organ the size of Chile.

- The Earth is millions of years old and it seems rather silly to celebrate one year. Bit like having a countdown every time i go to for a piss. And making resolutions is just plain retarded. "I will get a girlfriend, i will get laid , i will get a job and i will cut my nails regularly." Fuck off ! You are the same person and nothing has changed except a digit on the date. If you were incompetent, lazy, fat, stupid or ugly, chances are that the changing digit on the date wont change any of that. Either get a brain or a personality transplant or simply quit it.

- People who continuously and compulsively apologize for trivial mistakes piss me off. You are sorry , he gets it. For God's sake you spilled a glass of water, not fucked his mother.

- If I were gay, I would ask out Al Pacino. If i were gay and retarded, i would cheat on Cheryl Tweedy.